


Never ever let you go

by divenire



Series: Prompt Project [35]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Has Issues, Established Relationship, Like not getting that happiness is allowed, M/M, serious conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 00:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divenire/pseuds/divenire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles lightly knocks on Derek’s bedroom door. Derek is sitting at his desk, making notes in a large leather bestiary and he doesn’t look up. “Isaac let me in,” Stiles says, like he thinks somehow Derek didn’t already know that. He heard Stiles’ Jeep pull up outside a minute ago; he knew Stiles was here and that Isaac let him in. He was just wishing that maybe Stiles was here for something else. And that maybe if he pretended Stiles wasn’t here then he wouldn’t be and this wouldn’t have to happen.</p><p>A few seconds pass in the most awkward silence imaginable, but he still doesn’t look up and doesn’t respond. Stiles awkwardly mumbles,  “We…you… umm…” </p><p>“We need to talk. I know,” Derek says softly. He knows they have to, has known for a while that they would, but he really, really doesn’t want to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never ever let you go

Stiles lightly knocks on Derek’s bedroom door. Derek is sitting at his desk, making notes in a large leather bestiary and he doesn’t look up. “Isaac let me in,” Stiles says, like he thinks somehow Derek didn’t already know that. He heard Stiles’ Jeep pull up outside a minute ago; he knew Stiles was here and that Isaac let him in. He was just wishing that maybe Stiles was here for something else. And that maybe if he pretended Stiles wasn’t here then he wouldn’t be and this wouldn’t have to happen.

A few seconds pass in the most awkward silence imaginable, but he still doesn’t look up and doesn’t respond. Stiles awkwardly mumbles, “We…you… umm…” 

“We need to talk. I know,” Derek says softly. He knows they have to, has known for a while that they would, but he really, really doesn’t want to.

“Okay, so…”

“Yeah.”

“Um…”

“I guess…” Derek breathes out. “Just come sit down.”

“Okay.” Stiles walks into the room and sits down on the edge of Derek’s creaky, old bed. Derek still pointedly looks down at the book on his desk, even if he’s stopped writing notes into it. It’s not doing him any good, after all he doesn’t really need to look at Stiles to know he’s there, but he does it anyway.

“So…” Derek says. And that’s it. For a good thirty seconds, that’s it. And for once, probably the first time ever, Stiles doesn’t try and fill the silence. Finally, Derek manages, “This is really hard for me, alright?”

All Stiles says is, “I know.”

“I… I’m sorry. I… I just…” Derek runs a hand up the back of his neck and it just sort of stops there. This, being brutally honest about himself, has never been a strong point for him. It’s almost funny, really, considering how he’s so brutally honest about everything else.

“Whatever it is, say it,” says Stiles and there’s a sharpness to his words that Derek wishes he wasn’t the cause of, but he knows he is.

So he gathers up all of his courage and he says it. “You terrify me.”

“I what?” And finally, Derek sits up and turns around. When he looks at Stiles there’s this completely goofy look of confusion on Stiles’ face that, under any other circumstances, would be downright comical.

“Okay, not you, but… that this… that you… maybe you’ve noticed. Things pretty well never go my way. I can’t name one thing that hasn’t gone horribly wrong eventually. And I can’t play the victim, either. Usually, it’s my own fault. So…”

“So you’ve been avoiding me not because you bored with me, but because you’re afraid of messing this up?” Stiles looks inquisitive now, like he’s determined to get to the bottom of this, to fully hash this out. He also looks just a little bit relieved.

“Well, sort of,” says Derek. “More… I’m afraid this getting messed up is inevitable. Wait… bored with you?”

“Well, yeah.” Stiles shrugs his shoulders in what Derek is sure is supposed to be a nonchalant way and definitely isn’t. “Yu play so hot and cold and you’ve been cold for a while, so I figured that you were just playing around and got bored.”

“Got bored. Got… got bored. Got bored,” Derek says it repeatedly, like saying it over and over again will make it clearer somehow. It doesn’t. The idea of someone getting bored with Stiles doesn’t make any sense. Getting annoyed with him, sure. But bored? Not real likely.

“Well, it was just a theory. I mean, I had other ones involving you being an idiot rather than an indecisive jerk.” Stiles smiles at this in the way he smiles at most of his own jokes.

“Uh-huh.” Derek looks down at his shoes. 

“But back to you. Ummm… so…”

“So… what?” 

“So… so you think you’re sacrificing your happiness to keep me safe?”

Derek nods slowly, yes. That’s exactly what he’s doing. And if he’s honest, he plans to keep doing it. He knows what he wants, he always knows what he wants, but he also knows when other things are more important than what he wants. He’s perfectly willing to admit that usually he’s a selfish bastard. But sometimes? Sometimes he is actually capable of doing something decent. 

“Did it ever occur to you that you’re also sacrificing my happiness?” When Stiles says this, he can’t help but look up again, it’s almost like a reflex. And irritatingly, Stiles’ face is almost completely blank, so the only thing he can think to say is: “What?”

“Don’t feel bad, I don’t get it either,” says Stiles with a self-assured little grin, “but I like it when you show up and I like you. If you stop showing up, well, that’s not protecting me. It’s the opposite.”

“Okay, but…”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?” he growls.

Stiles smiles a genuine, almost fond sort of smile at this and Derek wishes he wouldn’t. Partly, because it’s so impossibly disarming and partly because he never wants anyone to know that a scrawny little human boy who almost never shuts up can disarm him just by smiling. “I mean, if you make a point of doing what you think is all noble and heroic, well, I’m going to stop you. Someone has to.”

“And how exactly do you plan on stopping me from doing… whatever it was you were alluding to?” 

“Well, that’s easy. I’ll just track you down and refuse to leave until you use your words and tell me whatever it is that’s going on.” Stiles leans forward, his elbows on his knees and now he isn’t smiling. He’s just looking at Derek dead on with his best serious face. 

And he really doesn’t know what to say to any of that, so he doesn’t say anything.


End file.
